Let’s face it, we all screw up in some way, shape or form. Some fail and make mistakes that only one or two people ever know about. Other’s failures - like the umpire whose botched call ruined a Detroit Tigers’ bid for a perfect game on national TV - are on display for the world to see. In either case, it hurts to reap the results of dumb decisions and mistakes.
Sometimes the pain of what we’ve done to others and ourselves seems too much to bear. It is difficult to rebound during these times and many times our failures keep us from ever accomplishing much of anything in the life we have left.
This does NOT have to be the case!
It is important to note that our mistakes and failure do NOT have to stop us from dreaming dreams and then seeing those dreams become reality. You can have that new reality if you respond properly to your mistakes and failures.
Here are some suggestions taken from my own personal experiences:
- Recognize that what you did won’t go away. You cannot run away from or erase the mistakes you made. Quit trying to hide them or hide from them. Instead, embrace the experience – learn from and use the bad experiences of your past so you can help yourself and others in the future. Remember, it is possible that much good can come from much bad.
- Repair the damage as much as possible. If the mistake was your fault, admit it and apologize. Be humble enough to admit that you messed up and ask forgiveness. But remember this - God forgives; others not so easily. You do what you can and then move on. You are not responsible for how people react to your attempts to gain your life back. You can’t control people’s responses, but you can offer a sincere apology.
- Receive grace and forgiveness. Contrary to what you or others think, there is nothing in your past God and those who truly love you cannot forgive. NOTHING. Most importantly, forgive yourself. Often the hardest thing to do is to let go of the guilt and move forward but remember - God forgives you, you need to forgive yourself.
- Refuse to keep making the mistake. Learn from your mistakes or you are destined to repeat them. Turn around, take another path, stop the bleeding. Something drove you to the point where you made that mistake - change it, get rid of it, run from it. Do whatever is necessary to quit making the same mistakes over and over again.
- Reach out to those who can help and protect you. Find a mentor or a wise friend who can give you sound, stable advice. Surround yourself with people who will be honest with you. And once you hear that wisdom, just do it! Listen to the wisdom of others now before you dig yourself into an even deeper hole later.
- Rebound forward. Too many of us fall backwards and then wonder why we are stuck flat on our backs. Fall forward! Get a new vision and dream new dreams. Move forward with your life and, better yet, start to help others with what you’ve learned. Don’t allow the past to control your future and don’t allow those who keep reminding you of your mistakes to control you either. There will be those who have other intentions than you being healed. Do NOT let them box you in or bind you up. Hold your head up high and live a better and bolder life. Nothing will silence your critics and expose their bitterness quicker than you living a changed and productive life.
The end of this year can also be the end of your guilt and ineffectiveness. Learn from your mistakes, accept grace and forgiveness and live a better and stronger life. Then use your past hurts to help others avoid the same painful mistakes. Turn your mistakes into your message! You will be surprised at how many people will identify and be blessed by your courage to share with them. That is the way to move forward and make the best of a bad experience.
